Ms.Hooks wrote an insightful, eye opening read that captures your attention and invites you to dig deeper below the surface of what shapes your ideals on love. There are many reviews here that make complaints about the book not having any profound meaning beyond the quotes she used to support her claims and this is far from the truth. Obviously the depth in this read went over their heads as it takes a level of emotional intelligence to extract the layers of wisdom present in this book. While I do feel the quotes add to the over context of the book, I actually feel her words hold their own and in some instances she could've done away with them! (sidenote: there are alot of dusties and pickmes in the comments that completely ignored the underlying message to take accountability for their feelings instead of projecting. I guess this is something not everyone will possess the objective mindset to grasp, but I digress.)... Here are some pros and cons:Pros:-Ms. Hooks spoke of developing a "love ethic" and I enjoyed the way she framed this concept into the book as it insinuates we should implement boundaries and include them in the way we love, much like we would adapt discipline within our work ethic. This speaks to having integrity to our commitments, which I never thought of in the way it was described.-She was direct and impartial (but still tactful) when it came to addressing misogyny and its role in what she deems "loveleness" in society. (This is what seemed to really trigger the XYs in the review comments) And as a person like myself who is critical of unfairness, I can say that she was very articulate about speaking on the topic and IMO, she spared them in some instances! The problem is that everyone thinks accountability is an attack and its not. I will say she had just as much constructive criticism for women as she did for men.-She contextualized love in many different aspects of life outside of just the notion of romantic love (i.e. religion/spirituality, career, family of origin, death, addiction ,etc.) Also, she addressed the notion of self love through being in solitude, which is the only place we can truly find fulfilment and connectedness. Honoring the essence of our "inner child" is the only way we can uncover the mysteries of our souls! However, she also made it a point to mention that paying the self love you have created forward into the community, and external relationships increases its potency even further. This nuanced view of love allows us to see it as an instrument and tool of virtue to help us in even in day to day life and not always within the transactional context of relationships, where we often search for the abstract sense of fulfilment that is seemingly unattainable.-She exposes the unhealthy cycles within what we deem to be love relationships which shows how the word "love" is often taken out of context and at the expense of those who end up mimicking these patterns in toxic relationships. We search to uncover its true meaning in all of what is external but dont understand ourselves from an internal POV that enables us to encounter these experiences.-Despite being able to articulate logical perspectives on love, she still holds it as sacred and honors it. In the tone of her words lay an unfadeable joy and optimism surrounding the possibilities of love and this is something many people struggle to do with a sense of balance. (Many are either too trusting or too jaded.)-One of the main things she debunks is the myth we learn, often from our dysfunctional upbringings is that "love can coexist with abuse" and this is the root of misogyny being normalized. It seems so simple, but most people struggle with putting these things into practice within their own relationships. Childhood trauma is acted out in relationships, and we begin to conflate love with other things/begin to operate in ego or a need for power instead of from an authentic space.Cons-While although I feel Ms.Hooks intended to provide a balanced perspective about the gender politics between men and women, there are certain moments in which I feel her statements dont fully consider how deeply rooted patriarchy has become. (For example she makes reference to women not accepting men "being honest" and I feel this is something both genders struggle with, especially if men's struggles with rejection were factored in, leading to many women being brutalized for not giving out their number or leaving an abusive relationship.) Her attempts to soften the blow to male ego appears slightly tone deaf at times and is the only thing I find that hinders some of her statements. I find it ironic, because somehow they view her talking point as bitter and completely ignored the eloquent points of view and insight she has offered.Overall, I enjoyed the structure of this book and how she goes into detail about both the components of love itself as well as the factors hindering its ability to thrive or exist peacefully. This is one that you keep on the bookshelf and reread every few years. This is a work that the reader must grow with!